Reflection on Unhealth Coping Mechanisms

Profession: Medical Student

Submitted On: November 26th, 2020

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, depression, drug use

"Throughout my life, I didn't know what mental health issues were. Whenever I heard a classmate or friend was struggling with depression or anxiety, I always was the one that joked around saying that the person was "emo" and that they should just get over it. I cruised through life not knowing what they were facing, and never believed that it was possible for me to have these issues. Even pre-med wasn't bad; it was stressful, but I never felt hopeless or mentally unwell. It wasn't until medical school that I began to understand what it was like to go through mental illness. It starts with burnout. They say that going through medical school is like trying to drink water out of a fire hose. Over time it wears on you. Then under all that unyielding pressure, you start to slip into depression and anxiety. Relationship issues don't help either, and that was the last straw that landed me in the emergency room, having overdosed on molly (MDMA) and other substances. That was my rock bottom moment, and ever since I have been working on recovery while doing my best in school. I may need to take a leave of absence to recuperate if it becomes too much. Having now experienced firsthand how mental health issues can impact your life, I deeply regret my dismissive attitude towards others who were facing it. Mental illness can affect us all, even in the people that don't believe they would ever face them."

We appreciate the opportunity to share stories like these with our community, with the goal of destigmatizing the struggles faced within the medical field.